Co-regulation/PACE

We used to talk a lot about self-regulation but we have now realised that you can’t self-regulate without having experienced co-regulation - and sometimes we need to go back to co-regulation because we are too overwhelmed to self-regulate.

Many people are now also finding it is important to interact using P.A.C.E:

• Playfulness

• Acceptance

• Curiosity

• Empathy

  Here are some links for some terrific information about PACE:

• Creating Connections for Developing Relationships

• Valuing children initiative

• Using PACE in school

Declarative language helps you share your experience.

Sometimes these sentence starters can be used instead of instructions - so that the person feels they are owning what they decide to do.

“I’m wondering…..”

“I’m noticing…..”

“Let’s look at….”

“Sometimes I….”

“Maybe….”

Sometimes these sentence starters gives the person the opportunity to express their feelings….but sometimes being silent with someone is the best way to help with their emotional regulation ie to “co-regulate”!!

“I was thinking….”

“I’m feeling….”

“I wish….”

“I like….”

“I don’t like…”

Find out more:

Murphy, L.K. (2020) Declarative Language Handbook: Using a Thoughtful Language Style to Help Kids with Social Learning Challenges Feel Competent, Connected, and Understood ISBN: 978-1-7345162-0-3

Murphy, L.K (2021) Co-regulation Handbook

Trainor, K. (2016) Calming Your Anxious Child - Words to Say and Things to Do ISBN: 9781421420103 - It has been around a while so may be in your local library.